Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Why Eve?

Well, the concept of Eve first started...I believe my Junior Year of High School. It's petty really, I just wanted a new alias since the coolness of my original, Roxy Marshall was fading on me. I always thought the word 'eve' was an interesting concept. We celebrate an event the day before the date itself i.e. New Years Eve and Christmas Eve. So I looked up the word and it said "the period of time before an event". As an alias, that name would be ambiguous. But as somebody who bemuses over story arc's, heroes journey and writing in general, everything was an eve of my pieces. Now I don't know if I'm completely making sense here, but I'm one of those harsh self-critics. Think of Cary Grant's character, Nickie Ferrante, in the movie "An Affair To Remember", he's a great artist but he throws away more than what he actually produces. I believe that I'm pretty similar. When life's responsibilities are pushed aside and I have that piece of paper in front of me (because I'm old school like that), I'll throw my whole mind into that piece. Scratching the paper so hard, my table wears battle scars of my furious pen marks. Hair tussled, sleep deprived dedication. Then at 2 a.m with tears streaming down my face (a little over dramatic, but let's go with it), I've finally completed my final thought. I am happy. I quietly put my notebook in it's proper spot and sleep. As soon as I have my next free moment, I grab that notebook and read what I remember was my body and soul. But then...I hate it. I absolutely hate it and with a quick swipe of the page, it's torn out and thrown into the recycling bag. So I figured the eve of my next final piece will be awhile.
I understand that I should probably just leave it be, but as ruthless as it sounds, this critic is selfless when it comes to her own. Muttering "horrible, absolutely horrible" under her breath just so she can justify her actions.

Eve is also still under construction. Originally it was Eve Barcelona, but seeing that I had a friend with the same last name, I dropped it. Also the name has moved from an alias to a pen name. So what will be done with it, I don't know. When will I go by Janel? Who knows. But that's why Eve is on my page.

No comments: