I squeezed my eyes shut as I clicked to see how many days had past since my last post. It's been six and again I apologize. As you could tell by the last several posts that my life wasn't really a pocketful of sunshine despite rising San Diego heat. I was just tired of feeling miserable, shitty, and upset all the time and I guess this week was a time for change; I upfrontly told KAMP about my frustrations with my staff position with the feeling that my position has become an upfront chore of "wtf do I have to the website now!" What do I need to do now!? Website redevelopment was a success but the maintenance was bullshit. I was given free will do as I please with the direction of the website, yet people telling me what to do. Despite lack of people coming to the SEPs, I have found that I still have enjoyment within LP development. I want to do that. I like doing it. I WANT to teach in the classroom. It's what I want to do, yet can't find the opportunity elsewhere except KAMP. Finally my confrontation with work. My job has been the base of my frustrations, and I was able to talk it out with Erin. She explained that there is nothing better with my co-worker being chosen myself with assisting the Production Assistant position, it's just that in the long run my tenure is expected to expire in the end of the upcoming school year and she will still be there. I told her that while I have rationalized it to my understanding, the feeling sucks.
Things have been looking up. I'm not agitated with the presence of people nor am I miserable in my place of work. It's a shame when your own boss can detect your discomfort in the office. But it should be different now.
Other news: My Mom and I have been working out together. Strange right!?
Last Thursday, my Mom asked me if we could play tennis together. I tried to teach her, but that failed with her disregard of me telling her how to properly hit the ball. The next day we wandered into the neighboring base gym and worked out for 30mins. She gave me massive grief for the elliptical, slowing down so much the machine turned off, but she ended up loving the BICYCLE!!! I'm warning her that she'll need to switch up exercises but she's resistant. We're going to try to make an arrangement: M/F we'll go to the gym on the base and one-two other days of the week, I'll take it upon myself to go to the gym at SDSU where I'm a member.
Silver Lining: I'm 173 lbs. I've lost 4lbs. It's been over a month, but I'm exercising not to make an impact now but to make a lifestyle change. Although it's not much, it's proof of healthy eating and cutting out foods. weekly exercise and more.