230

I squeezed my eyes shut as I clicked to see how many days had past since my last post. It's been six and again I apologize. As you could tell by the last several posts that my life wasn't really a pocketful of sunshine despite rising San Diego heat. I was just tired of feeling miserable, shitty, and upset all the time and I guess this week was a time for change; I upfrontly told KAMP about my frustrations with my staff position with the feeling that my position has become an upfront chore of "wtf do I have to the website now!" What do I need to do now!? Website redevelopment was a success but the maintenance was bullshit. I was given free will do as I please with the direction of the website, yet people telling me what to do. Despite lack of people coming to the SEPs, I have found that I still have enjoyment within LP development. I want to do that. I like doing it. I WANT to teach in the classroom. It's what I want to do, yet can't find the opportunity elsewhere except KAMP. Finally my confrontation with work. My job has been the base of my frustrations, and I was able to talk it out with Erin. She explained that there is nothing better with my co-worker being chosen myself with assisting the Production Assistant position, it's just that in the long run my tenure is expected to expire in the end of the upcoming school year and she will still be there. I told her that while I have rationalized it to my understanding, the feeling sucks.

Things have been looking up. I'm not agitated with the presence of people nor am I miserable in my place of work. It's a shame when your own boss can detect your discomfort in the office. But it should be different now.

Other news: My Mom and I have been working out together. Strange right!?
Last Thursday, my Mom asked me if we could play tennis together. I tried to teach her, but that failed with her disregard of me telling her how to properly hit the ball. The next day we wandered into the neighboring base gym and worked out for 30mins. She gave me massive grief for the elliptical, slowing down so much the machine turned off, but she ended up loving the BICYCLE!!! I'm warning her that she'll need to switch up exercises but she's resistant. We're going to try to make an arrangement: M/F we'll go to the gym on the base and one-two other days of the week, I'll take it upon myself to go to the gym at SDSU where I'm a member.

Silver Lining: I'm 173 lbs. I've lost 4lbs. It's been over a month, but I'm exercising not to make an impact now but to make a lifestyle change. Although it's not much, it's proof of healthy eating and cutting out foods. weekly exercise and more.

145 - 149 Recaps: Hemming, Graduating, and Boyfriends amongst other things

145: Stoles and Hemming


I met with Lily at Pangea to receive my stoles from KAMP. As it turns out, I received two. One with material from the Philippines and one that Jon brought home from Thailand that was to be turned into a stole for me. Also, I was there when Jon handed Lily the material and I honestly believed it to be pasalubong. We then met a man named Art who was curious to Lily's stitching in the middle of the cafe and told us of his immigration from the Philippines to here. How he plays the piano for fun and for money. His business care reads "Art on the Piano", art for his name AND art for his skills on the piano. After I got home, Honestly, I hemmed my dress for Graduation.

146: AND DONE WITH UNDERGRAD

Also that day, my parents and Jon finally met. To make it quick, my parents didn't speak a word to him. Not to mention my Dad tried to invalidate my current job as non-major related. Oh boy. Well, at least I'm done with college.

147: Scott's Associates and PARTY!!!

My brother received his ASSOCIATES!!! I got teary eyed watching him finally take that walk down the aisle to his seat and up to receive his diploma. It took six years but gosh, you can't help but feel so proud of his accomplishment. Heck any accomplishment can truly make you feel proud. I honestly didn't know up until that moment what his degree was in (transfer studies) but hey where he goes, he'll realize what he truly wants.

Rochelle threw a graduation party celebrating not only her completion but whomever else's graduation from college as well. Totally IDGAF attitude and caught up with some good friends. Not to mention witnessing some drunk friends for the first time. Sometimes you gotta cut balls where ya need to in order for the creepiness to end. 

149: Setting Up Sunday...

Sitting at Livingroom reading The Bluest Eye. I honestly want to finish reading that book so I can focus on CBEST and CSET credential testing next month.

Grades So Far: Asian Film: C/ Multicultural Education: B/Film and Fiction: B

133-134: Because I've been in the Library this long bc of FINALS

http://instagr.am/p/KRjJ0ci3aw/

Somehow my laziest semester turned into the hardest one of my life. 5-7 page papers with one 10 page paper in  addition to fill-in finals.

1. Ethnic Literature - Study Guide for Final on Thursday
2. American Literature 1920-1960 - Representation of Masculinity through Jesse James due...tomorrow. Final next Tuesday and the Final Final.
3. Mulitcultural Education 
1. Educational Reform - extended due date Today
2. Multicultural Education in Middle School - Presentation/Paper due Wednesday
4. Japanese Film - Political Allegories in Momotaro Sea Eagles and Gojira due Thursday
5. Special Study - Standard of Beauty In Literature due soon for Advisor editing
6. Film and Fiction - Study Guide for Final on Thursday/Rewatch Persona/Jules et Jim

After my Am Lit final, I'll be finished with my English Degree!

124: Update because I fail

I was asked to join Admin in KAMP. The committee that discusses all of the internal workings. Since I'm now Public Relations Coordinator, it only seems appropriate that I join these meetings and see what I can contribute and put out into the world. Didn't think I would become part of admin...but i am. 

Admin hopes I can reach beyond the social networking sites and outreach through other means to promote KAMP. Oy.

I wrote a wishlist basically on website updates and fees and it estimated at nearly $300. I almost shit myself. I'm not good with numbers.

My Mom went to the Philippines and when I tried to call her there was a painful conversation with her Aunt and my formal tagalog. Either she couldn't hear me or understand me despite trying to speak tagalog. 

WEEK COUNT: THREE WEEKS TIL GRADUATION

My Soda Fountain Dress I ordered from Modcloth for graduation came in the other day. It's about four inches below the knee, so it's very very long and I need to purchase some fashion tape, so I can tailor it four inches before graduation. Next I'll need black kitten heels and a brown or red belt for the big day. Oy

50: Money Saving Graduation

I'm gearing up for a massive amount of papers within the next several weeks. Supposedly, Graduation Notifications will be coming in the mail soon. I'm waiting for those so I can have confirmation in actually telling my parents. I don't want to risk hearing, "You said you're graduating, why aren't you?" So once those come in, I'll comfortably be able to tell them. After that, Gradfest will be coming up and I'll have to pick up my free Cap & Gown courtesy of my employer as well as purchase my Personalized Announcement cards. Those deals they have are seriously expensive, 25 cards, return labels, tissue paper, emblems, etc for $91. Holy freak (I'm giving up cursing for lent, let's try to practice early) I only need like...thirteen to send out to people. I don't need to spend that much. Luckily, there's another option that's just the 25 personalized announcements for $50, my broke college butt can breath easier for that.

Now the only issue that really presses up against my brain is the issue with photos. The ones that you send out with your announcement cards that say "Hey! Here's proof and here's my picture."

Such a headache

3: Apparently I Didn't Plan Early Enough

I stood there with everything in my hands; id, check. Degree Eval, check. Reading Material for the wait, check. Signs were posted that said no more walk-ins were available for the day and that Monday would be a better time. When Advising finally opened their doors for the New Year, I called so I could make an appointment to see an advisor regarding Graduation but since January 2nd nobody was answering the phones. I mean, there was definitely ringing but nobody was willing to pick it up and answer. I was tired of this and so I decided to make my visit to the Advising Office today where I was heartlessly escorted away for not thinking ahead enough. 

I didn't receive my grades until the 31st, during the time in which Advising posted that they would be closed to celebrate Christmas and the New Year holiday. Apparently this is their high time and explains why they're ignoring their phones. Well I'm sorry Miss, I probably would've known this if you had answered your phones. I wouldn't have gotten tired and went to the Advising office myself because that was the only other solution to my problem. Alas, my alumni co-workers and boyfriend gave words of comfort that they too suffered similar situations where Advising has not been very advising.

It wouldn't of have been a big deal but lady at the table sat their with a tone of voice that judged me for not knowing better. There's a difference between: I'm sorry but this is usually our high time and we're currently at a two hour wait to see an advisor and You shouldn't have tried to call us, it's high time. Appointment? You'll have a better chance coming in on Monday around 8:30am to see an Advisor. Wow. Regardless of how you can rationalize her behavior. Her tone just got to the bone of me and has made me irritable. 

1: Resolutions

I've never been up for resolutions.  I don't know why, I think it's because I know it'll never work out really. Somehow I can keep up with Lenten Sacrifices way better than New Years Resolutions. Slip on one, you just disappoint yourself. The other? Um...disappoint a higher being. Ouch. Yeah, no wonder why I do Lenten Sacrifices better. 

New Years Resolutions:

1. Lose Weight goal 10 lbs by Graduation in May - As cliche as it sounds, I work out and do so much work during the breaks. But when the semester comes around, being broke and excessive library hours lures the intake of cheap fatty foods and high sugar count. I have a gym membership I don't use. Ouch. Yeah. 10 lbs by the end of May 2012. 

2. Better Organizational Process: Desk - I have a table at home that I just don't use. It's always cluttered with tidbits, books, and papers that I just rip out of my book bag and on my desk. I need to utilize this space better and use it. If I'm going to attempt beauty blogging. I need a table space for image taking and brainstorming. I've spent so much time organizing my wall with calendars and pin boards for notes yet the space itself is not utilized. So File Organize my Table at least once a month and clean my table at least twice a month.  

3. Stop Hoarding Tidbits - I have a problem. I collect business cards that I hope to use and other tidbits that just find their way on my table and in between pages of my books. It's a horrible habit because they accumulate into a pile on my table of "What-The-Hell-To-Do-With-This-Shit?" pile. It's horrible. 

4. Better Organizational Process: Makeup - I have more things than the space that I have and I believe Sterlite drawers and anything I can successfully put things into would be a lot better. 

Alright and I vow that the first of the month will be an update with my Resolution goals. 

Senior Year & Post Grad Plans

My friend Jen and I discussed our plans for the futuretoday. The threshold to "adulthood" is just around the corner and the daunting reality of facing the "real world" has really really given us a new perspective on our lives. We wrote down in a list of certain goals/aims we knew needed to be completed or attempted during our Senior Year of College. Can you believe it? A little over two years ago I finished high school and became a College Freshman, now I'll be a Senior soon. More bittersweet then the realization of becoming a High School Senior. Then again, I don't miss high school. The past two and a half years were filled with more experiences and lessons learned, high school feels like it was a messed up notch on a stick.

Me and Jen's pending graduations are in Fall '12. We've both decided to take a year off so we can prepare for Graduate School and any tests that may need to be completed. We'll both study for the GRE (what Jon calls the SAT's on crack) as well as our respective tests for our future careers; MCATs for Jen and the CBEST for me.

The list contains what we'll try to complete and wish for in the next two-three years of our lives; our Senior Year, our year off and Graduate School. There is no doubt that I may not be able to complete all or most of the items in this list in less than two-three years. But hey, I hope that when I look at this list post graduation Graduate School and I've been teaching for several months; I can reminisce on being ambitious and I can give advice to my students to just relax and remember that hard work really does pay off. Some plans may no go through but you don't have to to prove to yourself that you can do anything. Anything really does goes and put you just need to roll with the punches and work with what you've got.

Senior Year Goals
-Look for a Publishing internship
-Save money for Graduation fees/Grad School app fees
-Work extra hours at the Aztec Ticket Office
-Summer School/London Study Abroad Internship/Study in London
-Teach at a site in KAMP (probably Challenger since it's the closest)
-Work to get Bell Middle as a site for KAMP. (aka make up for this year of inactivity)

Post Graduation Aims
- Apply for Grad Schools
- Study and Take the GRE/CBEST
- School: Linguistics/Child Development classes (boost GPA)
- BACKUP IDEA: TEFL Credential?
- Still look for an internship or sit in on Mr. Labrador and/or Ms. Banuelos' classes.

Pending Graduation: She's scared shitless.

945AM

I've noticed that my list of Major requirements had gotten a lot shorter over the weekend. Sure, it still has a lot of cross off, but dividing it up into semesters and the typical amount of units I take during a semester, that would make it. Wait! That's not right, is it? Three full semesters. How did it, when did it? No that can't be, I'll make it four semesters. That must be it. I'll graduate Spring 2013? Five years is typical.

Today, I made the long awaited trip to the Advising Office on campus. It's week three of the semester and the advising office has calmed down. The next available adviser seats me down and asks me what my questions were.

Will I graduate sometime next Fall? When will I have to start applying for graduation?

She rummaged through my Degree Evaluations and crossed off the classes I'm taking now so they wouldn't be confused with what needs to be done next. After showing me her math, she says..."Summer 2012 at the earliest."

Now assuming from the adviser's reaction to my reaction, students should typically be happy? A sigh of relief that their x amount of years working toward a degree has paid off. Me...I'm scared SHITLESS.

Did I just stroll through the last two and a half years in college? After academic probation, have I literally launched myself into the position where worrying about passing the semester is long ways behind me and my new worries are preparing myself for Post Grad life.

Mind Scheme:
Scared but excited, relieved but stressed. How in the world was I walking with a skip in my step, a smile in my mind but anxiety filled my mind. Trust me, did I work hard to launch myself into a job market so poor? I walked out thinking: shit look for a job. oh yeah an internship of some sort too. Grad school...calm down on that. Take a year to evaluate on your game plan to tackle this post grad life. You're going to be a grown up. You don't feel like a grown up, but you will be. Big kid stuff. Really. HOLY SHIIIIT!

My mind is reeling with this new reality. But it looks like I'll be done with college by Fall 2012.
I know that I'm going to make some real big kid changes soon.