137: Sleep and Finals Pt II

Just woke up from this

who's boyfriend posted this on twitter not to mention the sister thinks I look like this in the morning

and

136: Sleep and Cafe Venti

Went with Felix to go study at Cafe Venti but the KPop playing in the background was not good for both of our productivity's. While I struggled to find hints of construction of masculinity through the American West in library books, Felix struggled to keep emotions and his jaw closed as scantily dressed Korean Pop Idols graced the wide screen televisions on the wall. He would consistently state which ones were his favorites and oggled at the dance moves mixed with the camera angles that catered to his delight. This happened...every five minutes as another girl group replaced the stage with their own butt pats and body pops. The only time it was quiet between the both of us is when the Korean Boy Group's started to sing. Before we knew it, it was 1050PM and Felix had only written a paragraph and I got through two books but did not find any information that could have been of assistance all the while struggling not to laugh at Felix's delight. We needed to leave Cafe Venti.

Despite trying to appease the caffeine crash that was slowly beginning to affect my body with more caffeine, I needed a nap. Luckily, my boyfriend was at the 24/7 at SDSU and held us a table, in return we provided him a cup of hot milk tea and a cup of hot water for his noodles. Since being here, Felix managed to produce two more pages of his assignment quicker than the entire time we were at Cafe Venti and the vivacity I needed energy wise returned to me after a quick 30min power nap that Jon allowed me to have between studying. I was falling asleep on my books anyway. I know I haven't had a lot of sleep between the last 36hrs and I wonder what will happen when all  of this is over this is fucking hell week.
*Note to self, talk about Mr. Labrador on next post.

133-134: Because I've been in the Library this long bc of FINALS

http://instagr.am/p/KRjJ0ci3aw/

Somehow my laziest semester turned into the hardest one of my life. 5-7 page papers with one 10 page paper in  addition to fill-in finals.

1. Ethnic Literature - Study Guide for Final on Thursday
2. American Literature 1920-1960 - Representation of Masculinity through Jesse James due...tomorrow. Final next Tuesday and the Final Final.
3. Mulitcultural Education 
1. Educational Reform - extended due date Today
2. Multicultural Education in Middle School - Presentation/Paper due Wednesday
4. Japanese Film - Political Allegories in Momotaro Sea Eagles and Gojira due Thursday
5. Special Study - Standard of Beauty In Literature due soon for Advisor editing
6. Film and Fiction - Study Guide for Final on Thursday/Rewatch Persona/Jules et Jim

After my Am Lit final, I'll be finished with my English Degree!

96: Motherload of Nostalgia

I made this for my Senior Year of High School. it was an introductory video of ourselves. I was 16 about to finish high school. Oh dear. dear. dear. Look at my hair! it's just so...LONG (ahem 2:14 with Rahmaan)! I don't know if I'm disgusted looking AT my long hair or I just can't believe how long it WAS!  It's about to be a good five years since I made this video for that class and I can tell you a lot a lot has changed. half of those people I don't talk to or see and only a good handful of people in this video keep in regular contact. That's what five years can do. It's nice to see me in junior high fashion again, minimal but it's fine. I can't help face palming myself due to looking at myself from this time of my life. Thinking about it now, I can say that I really was confused a lot of the time and really had my heart broken from the first time. It was young love when you think about it and ignore the corny sounding nature of it. Plus my Grandpa, Lola, and my Piano teacher had died within a year of each other. i experienced a little more freedom in high school but not as much as now and I can't imagine going back to those days. I didn't get a cell phone and a computer of my own for another three year. Oy. Well...that's nostalgia for you.

54: Research Notes

Books:
Tyranny
The Bluest Eyes
Push
Hunger Games
Wicked (maybe)

Use fairy tales as a stepping stone and background information, like to further the argument.
hunger games
how does Katniss have to change to appease the acceptance of the Capitol. She has to change who she is in order to gain donors. Haymitch tries to change her to be more likable but she isn't.
Return feminism fairy tales book


***needed to write it down.

51: Papers Due This Week

Kill! Film Review

Latin American Experience Paper

499 SQR Draft

Jesse James Draft

39: Education

I'm sorting out my post grad plans. Teaching Credential, TEACH for America, all the while GRE, CBEST, and CSET testing. It sounds like after studying English for so long, I'm tracking off into something else and I finally think I'm more comfortable within this realm. I find myself at ease within my Education class and I think an Educator is what I want to be. I have my basis with English but who knows where that will go.

I just got home from being at school for over 14 hours. Tuesdays are my long days. I still have to work on my short story for fiction, my children's lit paper, and korean homework. Not to mention all my readings that need to be done soon. It's 10pm and I have to wake up at 7am tomorrow and do it all over again. mm mmm mmm.

Senior Year & Post Grad Plans

My friend Jen and I discussed our plans for the futuretoday. The threshold to "adulthood" is just around the corner and the daunting reality of facing the "real world" has really really given us a new perspective on our lives. We wrote down in a list of certain goals/aims we knew needed to be completed or attempted during our Senior Year of College. Can you believe it? A little over two years ago I finished high school and became a College Freshman, now I'll be a Senior soon. More bittersweet then the realization of becoming a High School Senior. Then again, I don't miss high school. The past two and a half years were filled with more experiences and lessons learned, high school feels like it was a messed up notch on a stick.

Me and Jen's pending graduations are in Fall '12. We've both decided to take a year off so we can prepare for Graduate School and any tests that may need to be completed. We'll both study for the GRE (what Jon calls the SAT's on crack) as well as our respective tests for our future careers; MCATs for Jen and the CBEST for me.

The list contains what we'll try to complete and wish for in the next two-three years of our lives; our Senior Year, our year off and Graduate School. There is no doubt that I may not be able to complete all or most of the items in this list in less than two-three years. But hey, I hope that when I look at this list post graduation Graduate School and I've been teaching for several months; I can reminisce on being ambitious and I can give advice to my students to just relax and remember that hard work really does pay off. Some plans may no go through but you don't have to to prove to yourself that you can do anything. Anything really does goes and put you just need to roll with the punches and work with what you've got.

Senior Year Goals
-Look for a Publishing internship
-Save money for Graduation fees/Grad School app fees
-Work extra hours at the Aztec Ticket Office
-Summer School/London Study Abroad Internship/Study in London
-Teach at a site in KAMP (probably Challenger since it's the closest)
-Work to get Bell Middle as a site for KAMP. (aka make up for this year of inactivity)

Post Graduation Aims
- Apply for Grad Schools
- Study and Take the GRE/CBEST
- School: Linguistics/Child Development classes (boost GPA)
- BACKUP IDEA: TEFL Credential?
- Still look for an internship or sit in on Mr. Labrador and/or Ms. Banuelos' classes.

Verb: It's What You Do

I was reading the reading responses that my classmates wrote for my "Blue" poem and my teacher wrote, use stronger "verbs". I scoffed a bit, verbs are kicking my butt in Linguistics class. I'm indifferent to parts of speech.

Pending Graduation: She's scared shitless.

945AM

I've noticed that my list of Major requirements had gotten a lot shorter over the weekend. Sure, it still has a lot of cross off, but dividing it up into semesters and the typical amount of units I take during a semester, that would make it. Wait! That's not right, is it? Three full semesters. How did it, when did it? No that can't be, I'll make it four semesters. That must be it. I'll graduate Spring 2013? Five years is typical.

Today, I made the long awaited trip to the Advising Office on campus. It's week three of the semester and the advising office has calmed down. The next available adviser seats me down and asks me what my questions were.

Will I graduate sometime next Fall? When will I have to start applying for graduation?

She rummaged through my Degree Evaluations and crossed off the classes I'm taking now so they wouldn't be confused with what needs to be done next. After showing me her math, she says..."Summer 2012 at the earliest."

Now assuming from the adviser's reaction to my reaction, students should typically be happy? A sigh of relief that their x amount of years working toward a degree has paid off. Me...I'm scared SHITLESS.

Did I just stroll through the last two and a half years in college? After academic probation, have I literally launched myself into the position where worrying about passing the semester is long ways behind me and my new worries are preparing myself for Post Grad life.

Mind Scheme:
Scared but excited, relieved but stressed. How in the world was I walking with a skip in my step, a smile in my mind but anxiety filled my mind. Trust me, did I work hard to launch myself into a job market so poor? I walked out thinking: shit look for a job. oh yeah an internship of some sort too. Grad school...calm down on that. Take a year to evaluate on your game plan to tackle this post grad life. You're going to be a grown up. You don't feel like a grown up, but you will be. Big kid stuff. Really. HOLY SHIIIIT!

My mind is reeling with this new reality. But it looks like I'll be done with college by Fall 2012.
I know that I'm going to make some real big kid changes soon.

Major Related Courses I've Had My Eye On

English
Engl 280: Intro To Creative Writing
Engl 501: Literature for Children
Engl 502: Adolescence in Literature
Engl 533: Shakespeare

Elective
Engl 571: Tech of a Short Story
Engl 576: Lit Editing & Publishing
Engl 580: The Writing of Poetry
Engl 581W: The Writing of Fiction

Comparative Literature
C Lt 405: The Bible as Literature
C Lt 451: Modern Asian Literature

If I had the option, would I stop in this routine life? I have a good one and a half to two years left at this university. All I want is out. I want to start working on my major requirements and have sleepless nights on Gen. Ed classes that by requirement I have to take. If I were to have a conversation with myself from 10 years ago, to even 5 years ago, I believe that all of us would have a heated debate over who is having it worse. I'm not saying that my life is hard at the moment, but I'm not quite satisfied. Spoiled as it seems, at an age now where you're supposed to learn who we really are. Why do I feel stagnant? Why do I feel that this is as good as it's going to get for the next couple of years.